Terrible poetry

Awful poetry from some time in the early 1990's. It's just really, really bad, and I wrote it. I should probably be embarrassed by its utter shittiness, but I have a strange affection for it, so I figured, hey, why not post it?

We can all have a hearty laugh as we simultaneously feel more than a little bit sorry for Patrick, circa 1992 (and maybe a bit sorry for the poor girl who was the object of his frustrated ardor).

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"Lady Fuck Me Around"

the smiling eyes of she who curses me with her laughter
damning me to a Hell of not being taken seriously
"tell me this my lovely lady-do you feel anything?"
and Lady FMA just smiles at my damned foolishness
she just laughs at my pain, she calls me paranoid
but I'm not
I know what is happening on dark lonely nights when the phone receiver
in my hand is warm and my fingers are sore from dialing but no answer
still- I know how the fear rises and blinds thought and chokes feeling
and I know Lady Fuck Me Around never fears- why would she
what does she know of dark lonely nights spent by telephones
what does she know of loneliness and pain
what does she know of fear

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Yeah, it's hard to understand why a girl would avoid such a weird, gloomy, stalkery guy like the one who wrote this poem.

Cranky bastard

Oh great, says my wife. He's in a bad mood.

I'm not certain of the exact cause of my prickishness today. I'm anxious, of course. Excited and worried at the same time. Bored with my current work. Irritated and impatient with those who would dare to bother me with duties related to my actual job.

I need to straighten up.

Let me explain the blog situation

Big Fat Corn Squeezin Pig Party (Patrick's BLOG): http://pigparty.blogspot.com/
Chauntelle's NEW BLOG: http://chauntelle.blogspot.com/


Sleepy Possum Goat Roast Jamboree: http://sleepypossum.blogspot.com/
Patrick can post here, Rachel can post here, Stephen can post here. Once Chauntelle accepts my invitation, she can post here. If anybody else creates a Blogger account, they can let me know and I will set them up to post here. It will be a community blog, where we can discuss the issues of the day...or tell each other fart jokes.

Thrilling Tales Of Science!!!

Lord Korg, his gold and obsidian mask glinting in the cool blue light of the L.A.S.E.R., turned to face his enemy, Captain Matthew Strong of the Earth Defense Corps. Strong stood legs apart, his fully charged Zap rifle raised and pointed at the Demonic Despot.

"It's over, Korg", said Strong.

"Never!", cried Lord Korg, and touched a switch on his wrist control unit. There was a sound of thunder and a blinding red light. A trans-portal! Strong let loose a volley from his Zap rifle, but it was too late. The portal had closed. Lord Korg was gone.

Silence returned, and the walls and surfaces of the weapon bay regained their former bluish cast. A smell of ozone lingered in the air as Strong activated his Implant-O-Phone and hailed the EDC starship Freedom.

"Delia, he got away, but I think we can track him. If you bypass the positronic relay, and recalibrate the Pan-O-Sonic subcutaneous osprey phaser, I think we might just be able to refocus the sensor array to detect the ionic signature of his transport beam."

It...is done.

I have accepted the SC position and have tendered my resignation. I feel very strange, but in a good way. Scared, but happy.

Patrick's Blog- http://pigparty.blogspot.com/
Chauntelle's Blog- http://chauntelle.blogspot.com/

Goat Jamboree (sign up; everyone is doing it!!)- http://sleepypossum.blogspot.com/

I've got a golden ticket. I've got a golden ticket.

I received the official offer today. All that's left now is to review it, get answers to my questions, and accept.

Thrilling Tales Of Science!!!

Captain Matthew Strong set his teeth and strained against the Electromanacles, but to no effect. He was well and truly captured this time, and had little hope of escaping and foiling Lord Korg's evil plot to destroy the Earth with his atomic L.A.S.E.R. beam. Even now, Strong could hear the hum of the L.A.S.E.R. weapon as it completed its primary ignition cycle. Soon, planet Terra would be but ashes and dust, and Korg's dominion over the universe would be complete. Yes, though he had triumphed over evil on numerous occasions, it seemed that here, now, he would meet his first, and final, defeat.

Suddenly, Strong heard an electronic buzzing in his left ear, the sound of his Implant-O-Phone communication device being called. But by whom? He had watched, with his own eyes, as his flagship, the EDC Freedom, had disintegrated into a billion atoms. Yet here, now, he was being signaled on an encrypted Earth Defense Corps frequency. Dare he answer the call?

Matthew Strong blinked his eyes three times, and the Implant-O-Phone activated with a crackle.

"Matt, it's me...please answer," came the familar voice of Delia Quick.

Notice the policemen in the back...they're looking at me a might strange!