Things that I hate...about myself

Days like today, when I'm feeling particularly frustrated and powerless, I find myself contemplating all of those personal qualities and attributes that keep me from being the person I would like to be. For some reason, I thought it might make me feel better to list some of these less admirable aspects of my personality:

*I'm lazy. Actually, it may be more accurate to say that I'm prone to bouts of inertia. Meaning that when I'm doing nothing, it is hard for me to motivate myself to start doing something, but that, alternately, when I have a task at hand it's hard for me to stop working or to start on another task. I'm like a train that sometimes can't seem to start itself, other times can't seem to stop itself, and always has trouble changing tracks.

*I'm not friendly. I have a hard time opening up to people. In unfamiliar surroundings, with unfamiliar people, I can be very quiet and reserved. Really, I'm shy and insecure around new people, but I think I come off as an aloof asshole. The funny thing is, my personality is completely different in situations where I am comfortable. I've known people who would never have described me as quiet or shy. Unfortunately, I guess I have never been truly comfortable in west Tennessee, so I find that I don't really have any true friends here. Of course I have my workplace friends and acquaintances, all of whom I love and appreciate, but I don't have anyone, other than my wife, with whom I could go see a movie or go get a beer or just hang out. (Actually, I should have listed this one first; it is my very least favorite personal defect.)

*I'm kind of self-centered. I don't mean to be, but I am. I find that sometimes, when someone is talking about him-/herself, I become anxious, anticipating when it will be my turn again to speak, and that as a result, I don't always listen like I should. I do this to my wife, who luckily happens to be the most forgiving person alive. Also, I like to get my way, and sometimes I kind of sulk a little when I don't get it. The sulking doesn't always happen, and when it does, it's relatively minor. Still, it's not something I'm all that proud of.

*I'm emotional. Or, I can be. I don't mean emotional in the sense that I cry easily, cry like a gay man on a reality TV show. I mean that sometimes, when I get angry or frustrated or hurt, I get MORE angry or MORE frustrated or MORE hurt than the situation really warrants. I overreact, I blow up. This is possibly my second least favorite personality quirk.