More about "yuns"...

Many of you non-southerners are likely familiar with the commonly used southern word "y'all". I have heard northerners claim that we use this word as both the singular and plural second person pronoun, but the truth is that we do use "you" when addressing a single person. "Y'all", which is merely the slurring (in typical southern fashion) of the phrase "you all", is only used when addressing a group of people. Southerners recognized that using "you" to address either 1 person or a group of people is imprecise and confusing. Confusion leads to embarrassment, and it has been my experience that most southerners seek to avoid unintentional embarrassment. Please note that intentional embarrassment is always welcome and amusing.

So, "y'all" is pretty widespread throughout the southern states, much like kudzu, grits, and sweet tea. What the hell is "yuns", then? Well, it is understood that "yuns" is a contraction of "you ones", being the Scots-Irish hillbilly variant of "you all". I've only ever heard "yuns" used in certain hilly pockets of Tennessee, marking the word as a remnant of a distinct and nearly vanished mountain culture, or at least that has always been my assumption. I'm sure the last "yuns" holdouts will soon be paved over by new Wal-Mart Supercenters, so that before long the entire south will be just one bland slightly twangier version of every other suburban strip-mall district in the United States. (Rant alert!!!) Right now, I defy you to drive around in suburban Charlotte, Atlanta, Nashville, Little Rock, Memphis, etc, and tell me what is distinct, what is unique to those suburbs. In the cities you can sometimes find unique southern institutions, and in the smaller towns and remaining countryside you can, but the suburbs are all the same, everywhere you go in America. I blame McDonald's, Wal-Mart, the military-industrial complex, Republicans, and Applebee's (just because I hate Applebee's). And that mother-fucker Jarred and his damn Subway. Actually, I like Subway. Okay, I blame Quizno's and that freaky talking baby, who is so much shittier than the spongemonkeys, who had the advantage of being both really weird ANd English (which, actually, may be the same thing). We love the moon!!!