The Ornery Tennessean

I love Tennessee. It is my birthplace and my home. That said, I don't really care much for western Tennessee, and even less for southwestern Tennessee, which is unfortunate, since that is where I currently reside. It's too flat here, too hot in the summers, and the people here don't pronounce their words properly. And I've never once heard anyone from here use the word "yuns" in a sentence (as in, "Do yuns want to go git some Krystal burgers, or just stay here at the house and eat fried boloney sammiches?"). I'm from Knoxville, in the foothills of the Smokeys. I expect to here some damn twang in your voice when you talk at me. I like to see hazy mountains on the horizon, wood smoke in the air. But, here I am for now.

The plan is to high-tail it out of here by the end of the year. Me and my woman have sorted and sussed and landed on Greenville, South Carolina, as our probable next home. It's a lot like Knoxville, in many respects, but better in many ways. The Blue Ridge mountains are close by, but the beach is also just a few hours away. Greenville's downtown is quite a bit more impressive than Knoxville's, though Greenville doesn't have any grand old theater downtown to match Knoxville's Bijou and Tennessee. Still, it's a pretty damn good town. And hey, you can get Cheerwine in any store. And Bojangle's, their pretty good. Knoxck the pants off of Popeye's any day.